What Are You Holding?
by AmyNChan
Summary: It usually took Hawk Moth a few moments to strike a deal with his victim of choice. That long to know their fears, their desires, the deepest insecurities of their heart and use it against them. And he had been holding onto that vile akuma for hours?


_**Marinette: New to the fandom?**_

 _ **AmyNChan: Yup.**_

 _ **Marinette: Wrote this at night with little to no editing.**_

 _ **AmyNChan: Yup.**_

 _ **Marinette: Readers going to tear it apart limb from limb?**_

 _ **AmyNChan: Most likely.**_

 _ **Marinette: …bring it on.**_

 _ **AmyNChan: I don't own Miraculous Ladybug or the Emperor's New Grooooooove! XD**_

When she first saw him after that fight, her first instinct was anger. How dare he abandon her like that and leave her alone while injured? What gave him the right to do that and chase after the akuma immediately after she had been injured?

And who the heck gave him permission to have his costume open in the front? It was completely distracting from her righteous fury.

"Chat!" she growled, marching up to where he sat on the ground, his shoulders somewhat tense and his startled green eyes flashing up to meet her own.

"Marinette…" he whispered.

That broken tone of voice tore her from her rage. She looked down to find a pair of pink capris rather than her tight costume. A purse rather than a ladybug fanny pack. Her anger crumbled away to confusion and she felt the beginnings of anxiety kick in. He had not seen her transform, right? And how did this even happen? Where was Tikki? How—

A choked sound brought her from her musings. It sounded like a stifled sob whose restraints were quickly becoming undone. But there was no way.

Why would Chat Noir be crying?

Since gaining him in her sights, she took her first good look at her feline friend. His distracting abdomen was revealed by a large slash in the front of his costume. She had not noticed earlier due to lack of apparent blood. His front claws were in two fists with no intention of being unfurled. But the worst of all, the one thing that absolutely broke her heart, were the tears shamelessly flooding his face. They soaked his mask and drew down to his pointed chin before cascading on the unsuspecting ground below.

"Chat… what happened?" she asked. She could not be Ladybug, the calm strategist, at a time like this. Not when her partner—unknowing perhaps, but still her partner—was in a state like this.

The cat merely whimpered and clenched his fist around that which he held. Marinette's eyes drew towards the black gloves with wide eyes. What was he hiding?

"The Scrambler…" he said in a shuddered voice. Her eyes flashed in recognition. The man who rearranged surroundings, who had separated her and Chat in the first place. They had barely gotten back together when the man had come from behind, knocked her down, and flitted away. Chat had not wasted any time in pursuing him while the girl had tried to collect herself. "He took Ladybug's…"

Chat grit his teeth angrily, the action causing a secondary wince to rack his entire body. Marinette looked at the torn costume and it was then that she saw it. Blood leaking onto the street below. A wound that had been unseen before due to the poor lighting.

"Chat, you're hurt!" she exclaimed belatedly. Her hands immediately went to fussing over the wound—pulling out disinfectant and bandages from her purse—while she silently chastised herself for not noticing sooner. Even if it had been hidden, she should have noticed.

"It doesn't matter."

"Of course it does!" the girl grit out, angry with how apathetic Chat Noir was being. Her fingers ghosted over the wound with the disinfectant and the boy released a pained hiss. She refrained from commenting on how catlike it was of him. "Stay still."

She spent the next minute or so properly dressing the wound. It was a good thing she had gotten into the habit of toting around small medicinal supplies or Chat Noir would have likely gotten an infection from this. Of course, the bandages were meant to clean _herself_ up after a fight, but this worked just as well. She began to wrap the gauze around his midriff, staunching the bleeding as best she could.

"I'm never going to see her again."

Her fingers stilled for but a moment.

"What? Why?"

She was right there. How could he think that he would never see Ladybug again? All she had to do was transform with Tikki once she knew where the kwami had gotten to and then she would scold him enough for all of his nine—

Marinette blinked. His right hand had unfurled slightly, as though inviting her to take part in some enormous secret. And it was a terrible one.

Her hand went subconsciously to her ear. True to what she was seeing, it was bare, her miraculous stone gone. But it was not missing. No, it was in Chat Noir's hand alongside a visibly exhausted Tikki.

"How—?"

"The Scrambler ripped it right off her ear," Chat explained, visibly pained. "I was so mad… I don't know what happened next, it's all a blur. I chased him, followed him to get her miraculous stones back. But he was waiting for me… I don't even know how I managed to stop him, but I broke his rubics cube. The akuma came out, but I don't have the ability to cleanse them…"

"Do you know who…?"

Emotions warred within her as he shook his head, tears glistening at his eyes. He looked so bitter, so angry with himself. Were these tears of frustration, tears of sadness?

She could not tell which.

"She never wanted me to look, so I guess I didn't. But I have her miraculous stone and kwami now… and I still don't know how to cleanse this thing…"

"You don't mean—!"

Marinette looked at his other hand. It was still fisted tightly with no intention of being released. A dark cloud seemed to be bubbling around his entire hand, begging for release.

"How long have you been holding it?" she asked at long last. His whole expression winced as though he had just received a slap. "Chat… how long?"

"A few hours now. Ever since I got Ladybug's miraculous stones back…"

 _Oh, Chat…_ Tears welled in her eyes. It usually took Hawk Moth a few moments to strike a deal with his victim of choice. That long to know their fears, their desires, the deepest insecurities of their heart and use it against them. And he had been holding onto that vile akuma for hours?

"Marinette, can you make him stop whispering in my head?" he asked. His voice was breaking. A few droplets of water rolled down her face without her permission, the pure emotional hell that Chat was going through suddenly becoming real to her.

He thought he was never going to see Ladybug again.

He knew that Hawk Moth attacked when people were emotionally vulnerable.

He knew this was a fight he could not win alone.

And from the looks of it, he could not hold him off for much longer.

"Chat…"

"Please… can you be my Ladybug again?"

A sob broke from her throat and she launched herself at Chat, somehow avoiding the wound. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close and feeling so foolish for being angry with him earlier. He had done nothing but good by her. He respected her, defended her, battled for her, and was always there for her. She might love Adrien, but Chat was completely irreplaceable by now.

"You have to fight him, Chat. You can't let him win," she whispered. Anything louder and she was certain he would break. "You will see Ladybug again, I swear it."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

She could not see his expression fully—then again, when had she ever?—but she somehow knew he was engraving those words into his heart. If what he said was true, if he really had no idea it was she under the mask, then he was grasping at straws. He had no idea if Tikki would find her partner, if he would ever see _his_ Ladybug again.

The thought pulled at her heart. He was so desperate for hope that he would seek it from her, of all people. A boring high school student that he had run across only once before. The thought made her angry. Angry at herself for letting this happen. Angry at Hawk Moth for attempting to use it for his vile purposes.

Marinette withdrew one hand from his neck and was surprised when his right hand flashed to her waist in a weak attempt to keep her where she was. His arm had no strength behind it and she could have easily backed away and left this alley behind.

But she had no intention of doing that. She pulled a cookie from her bag.

"I'm not leaving you, Chat. Not ever again."

Chat grimaced in pain and Marinette could only assume that HawkMoth was attempting to sway him once more. Use his fears against him, his terror at being left alone in this alley. The dark cloud bubbled around his hand once more.

"Transform me, Tikki."

* * *

 _"This girl will leave you just as your father has. Just as you left Ladybug behind. Come, Dysfunct. Come and make them suffer as you have."_

Adrien could feel his willpower crumbling. He had kept going because of Plagg. Kept resisting because of his kwami. Plagg had been begging him not to listen, to let the silly akuma fly free and find Ladybug so she could help take care of it.

But if he let go, there was no guarantee he would find Ladybug again. Her miraculous stones and even her exhausted kwami were with him and she had never wanted him to see her secret identity. Plagg's voice had gotten dimmer as the time had worn on until it had stopped altogether, possibly from the exertion. It was then that Marinette had come.

He could thank whichever deity watched over him for Marinette.

She had stomped into the alleyway with absolutely no fear, coming in like an angel to save him. She had tended to the gash he had gotten in the back and she seemed to handle the desperate situation well.

It was a selfish part of him that wanted her to stay.

 _"Please stay,"_ he wanted to beg. _"Please don't leave me alone with him…"_

The most he could manage was an arm around her form, his silent plea. He was pleading with God, pleading with life, pleading with the universe, pleading with Marinette. Please don't leave him alone.

 _This girl is going to abandon you just as everyone else has. Your friendships are as fake as the smile you wear for the camera. Come, Dysfunct. Come…_

The invitation seemed so tempting. Everyone left him after they got what they wanted. His father wanted a perfect son. Chloe wanted a perfect boyfriend—which he had never consented to, by the way. Nino wanted a best friend who was there. Everyone wanted something and left once they had it. How could he hope that Marinette—as sweet and as kind as she was—would be no different?

"Chat, I need you to let it go," Marinette's voice said, but it was different now. When had he closed his eyes?

"I can't let it escape. It could infect somebody else…" That was a genuine concern. But it grew evermore thin as temptation pounded at his proverbial doorstep.

"Chat. Trust me," she said. His heart wanted to let the disguising little thing go at her voice. His brain told him it was a huge risk to Marinette. What if she got infected? His fingers clenched tighter on the being. He could fight for Marinette for now. He would not let her become infected if he could help it.

Cool fingers feathered over the back of his palm. Exactly like how she had dressed the wound, but somehow different.

"Please."

 _Dysfunct, NO—_

His fingers slipped of their own accord. The blackness began to approach him as he felt the weight of the horrid little butterfly leave him.

"You've done enough harm."

Who was that? It couldn't be.

"Enough, little akuma."

He tried to force his eyes open. Make sure he was not hallucinating.

"I free you from evil!"

The more effort he put into becoming more alert, the more seriously consciousness fled from him. It was too tiresome to stay awake. He tried to shake his head.

"Chat, stay with me. Chat!"

Was that Ladybug? What happened to Marinette?

"Chat, don't—!"

The darkness consumed him.

* * *

When Adrien next awoke, he was surrounded by the fluffiest blankets money could buy and his head resting on soft down pillows. Physically, he hurt. A lot. A sharp pain rid him of the last dredges of sleepiness and he found himself glancing about anxiously.

It was his room. The one at home that never felt like a home. It was always so lonely with nobody there except for Natalie.

Those were his thoughts before he caught sight of a certain young girl asleep on the white couch in his bedroom, sunlight filtering in from the window behind her. A blanket was nestled around her with care and it looked as though someone had tucked her in. A maid, perhaps?

"CHAT!"

The young girl sat straight up from her slumber, taking her surroundings in with fright. To be quite honest, Adrien himself was surprised at the outburst.

"Marinette?" he asked. He was certain his hesitance shone in his voice, but could do nothing about it now. The girl turned to face him, but unlike many other times when she had stuttered or flailed around helplessly, he saw her eyes well with tears.

"A-Adrien," she hiccupped. It was a horrible sound that hurt him to hear. Now that he could remember with some semblance of clarity what had happened, the thoughts of her crying the first time upset him as well. Big, fat tears had no place on such a pretty face. He pushed himself up to try and think of a way to calm her.

She kicked off her blanket with urgency before making her way to his side. Her hand was soothing yet strong as she pushed him back down.

"Don't move, silly kitty," she scolded, the nickname sounding _right_ when it came from her. But Ladybug— "The effects from the akuma mostly cleared away, but I think your injury remained because you held onto it for so long. What were you _thinking?"_

"What happened? I wasn't supposed to let go of it. Ladybug—"

"Is right here."

The girl looked at him with an intensity he had never seen on her face before. It was a look he would know better under the guise of a mask. It was a determined look that desperately hoped for a plan to work, that she often wore when danger seemed imminent, that Ladybug had on her face when she was thinking carefully. Ever so slowly, she lifted her hands up to her left ear, showing him the miraculous stone. She then gestured to the desk for Adrien to see. Plagg and the other kwami were still somehow asleep after Marinette's outburst.

"Tikki's really tired after that last transformation," she said. "I only had enough energy to cleanse and bring you here. By that time you had transformed back so getting you inside was fine."

That explained why he was in his room of all places.

He had a few questions to ask. Why was she letting him know now? Was it because she had seen his alter ego? What had happened to her during the fight? Were things going to be different between them now that they knew? Why was she no longer stuttering or jittery around him? Though believe him, he was grateful for the slight change. Marinette was a good girl to talk to, kind and sweet, and the excessive nervousness often got in the way of that.

But now, as the sunlight filtered through the window on a Saturday morning, he found himself unable to ask a single one. He just watched, taking in the girl who had saved all of them time and time again, rubbing her arm in discomfort. Just as he was about to ask if she were injured, she spoke again.

"I'm sorry."

Eh?

"I didn't mean to see your secret identity, but you were bleeding so much and it could have been infected and I couldn't just stand there because you're sort of one of my best friends and…"

He must have questioned aloud.

"Marinette."

"I— Um… yes?" she asked.

He wanted to ask about how she was Ladybug. Part of him wanted to do that very badly. But now, as he looked at her, he realized there would be time for that later. He had more important things to tell her now. He smiled softly.

"You never left."

A blush painted her cheeks, but he had a feeling she understood what he meant. "Of course I didn't."

He smiled as he allowed his eyes to drift shut once more. A few more hours of rest was what he needed for that wound on his side. But not before saying what he needed to. "Thank you."

He could feel her smile. "I said I would never leave you.

"Not ever again."

 _ **AmyNChan: I ship these two so much and this idea was actually inspired by a picture I found on tumblr. I honestly thought "no fair! Why are you making him so—wait, is he crying? Holy crap, are those Ladybug's miraculous?!**_

 _ **Adrien: That's…**_

 _ **AmyNChan: But it was done sooo well…. In any event, it's almost midnight and I have class tomorrow. XD 'night and please read and review~! *^_^***_

 _ **EDIT! I FOUND THE PICTURE! IT TOOK FORFREAKING EVER TO FIND! XDDD In any event, here's the link.**_

ht tp : slash slash amynchan dot tumblr dot com slash post slash 134520311833 slash krafthoney-work-by-4%EC%8B%9C-with-permission-granted


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